Last night I was talking to a guy who is a therapist for mostly kids in the public school system. He said there was a lot of frustration and parents and children alike were having issues.
I think as a society we lack strong communication skills. Instead of listening when someone is speaking to us, we are thinking of the next thing we want to say and many times don’t stay on topic as the conversation may have taken a slight turn but we weren’t listening.
I think we also don’t practice enough sympathy. Instead of putting one’s self in the shoes of another, if someone says something we are quick to be offended… many time about something we thought was said but not actually said or meant.
My last point in that slightly one sided discussion was that we don’t seem to articulate our thoughts well. I see this in my son and his friends. They say something, but because of their limited vocabulary can’t get their true thoughts across without a few questions for clarification.
I truly believe one’s vocabulary base and ability to really listen makes for an Effective Communicator. Something I strive to be and guide my son in becoming.
Over the past 2 weeks I’m been taking stock of my life and decided I want to change a couple things. I’ve been in network marketing on and off for the past 10 years as I see this is the most viable way to attain my goals. I’ve recently decided to become a Professional network marketer and have started studying… gees now I understand why I’ve always struggled but knew this was the right path for me.
My second decision is go work for a fitness model body. You know the muscular feminine women like Tonya Merryman.
With both I found experts in those fields and joined their website.
For the Pro. NMer I watch a 2-4 minute video in the morning to get my thoughts on track then throughout the day at work I’ll listen to an hour long lesson and in the evening I listen to it again while taking notes. I’ve done the exercises that have come up and am learning so much that most trainers don’t disclose.
For the body I’m with another website. There I have a journal entry each day where I post my food diary, sleep and exercise log and how I felt that day. This one is a little harder.
What I’m learning is my actions are what causes the results. Everyday I when I remember I tell myself “I’m Becoming a Professional Network Marketer who earns $1M annually. I Am Becoming a Fitness Model” these are my 2 goals and everyday my decision is “Everything I do is moving me closer to these.”
What are your goals? Have you decided to become the peson you have to be to achieve them?
Today 2 of friends were venting:
1. a swim mom who is having serious issues with her 13 year old son. He and his father are having rough times to the point where the police and Child Services were called to the school and then showed up at the house. The father has disowned the son and is blaming everything on the “stupid” mom
2. a friend from college who’s little daughter is having speech delays and “needs” to see a therapist. My friend is beside herself and today had a mini meltdown with this and thinks that she (the mom) may be borderline ADD
During #1episode someone asked Why is it when things go wrong with a child it is automatically the mother’s fault. Both mom’s in these 2 cases are dedicated to their kids, listen to them, talk with them, spend time with them. In the first case the dad is the one who is negatively effecting the situation and the kid isn’t able to constructively or effectively communicate so there is self inflicted harm and frustration. While in the second case the parents are amazing, close knit and truly spend quality time together. My friend assists her daughter but won’t just do things for her. The toddler is very sweet and can communicate just not talk.
Being a single mom I honestly know that raising a little person isn’t always entertaining and can be VERY frustrating and Hectic. I know there are times that I would like to run away, but every day I look at Monster Teen and have to honestly say to myself, him and the Universe… He is a Great Kid and I can’t imagine my life without him. Now hopefully he won’t enter the “Angry Depressed American Teenager” phase. Do you have any suggestions on how to prevent him from entering that area and avoid being blamed for something that I have no control over?
I’m finally getting over my cold and will be more consistent. Sorry for the disjointedness.
Today I got a text from a friend I haven’t spoken or seen in the past 2 years. She was one of the 30 friends whom I had contacted in my last mass text. She told me that she moved from Downtown to Coral Gables and that she is about to publish her book! I found out it was the book she talked to me about a few years ago… as a dream. I’m so happy for and proud of my friend Erin! I wish her All the Best!
Another person contacted me today. It was the Science teacher that my son and I went to Europe with over the summer. He had asked a few weeks ago if my son could play his flute at a Haitian American event. My son also has him for math and science tutoring. The teacher said that the event was this weekend and that sadly he wasn’t able to go due to a death in the family; but the Association has invited us to join them. I’m so proud of my son who is pulling back up his grades and being asked to participate in such an event.
Tonight I got to talk to my son about “being bias”. He is under the misguided notion that if I tell him he is a Good Kid and I’m thankful every day that he is in my life that I’m being biased. Why is it that he thinks that I as his mom can’t compliment him while being truthful?
Drew Dudley: Everyday leadership #TED : http://on.ted.com/e01Ek
I was watching this last night after my last post. This is one of my favorite Ted Talks. I hope it moves you as much or more than it does me every time I watch it.
Do you have a lollipop moment? Has someone ever thanked you for giving them one?
A couple years ago I met a friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in over 20 years. I was telling her a story about my wanting to befriend Dwayne Johnson, she told me she went to University with him… *dreamy eyes* sorry I digress. OK! She said something that made me think about how my actions affect those around me.
I don’t remember what brought up the subject, but she said “you know that is something that I always admired about you. You always spoke up for the weaker person, with sarcasm to put the other in their place.” I looked at her not knowing what to say, so I accepted the compliment and thanked her. She said in school I said things like “Weren’t you paying attention when your mom was teaching you manners” if someone bounced into another on purpose making them drop their books. She said I didn’t think anything of it or of helping collect the books. I was shocked as I don’t remember doing that. But this reminded me of 2 other things.
About 5 years ago I was a door to door sales person. At 2 art festivals and Costco someone remembered me coming to their home and ALL 3 knew my name! My friend who was with me was as shocked as I was! How did these people after not seeing me for 2 years and only as a sales person still remember me? AND be happy to see me?!
Flashback a few more years… This was a couple years after graduating high school literally 5 people came up to me in different places and ALL conversations started: “You are Steffany! We’ve never met, but I remember you from the halls of high school!” My first thought was “What on Earth was I doing in the halls for these people to not only remember my face but also my name?” I remember asking a few of them and they said “You were always so happy and said Hi to me like we were friends.” Again at the time I was so shocked! I am one of those people who do smile and say hello/good morning/good afternoon if I see someone looking at me but I didn’t think people remembered it after a few day much less years.
This has taught me that people are watching and are affected by my actions. Since having my son I hope that I positively affect him.
How do you think you are affecting those around you? Has anyone ever came up to you?
8 Acts Of Chivalry To Bring Back.
I LOVE this article!
As a mom I have instilled most of these in my son’s character. Being that he just got a phone at 13 I need to teach him to pick up the phone and talk to his friends once and a while.
I’m sorry that it seems like I’ve been neglecting my blog. Actually I posted something that I wasn’t supposed to and my account was frozen. Then I got sick and haven’t been online. The last blog was from Saturday… my son did great at his meet. I’ll start blogging again tomorrow night!
This evening I met my cousin’s friend. He is in his first year in college and studying to be an IT guy. After talking for a little I asked him where does he want to go. He said the “correct” answer we were always taught I plan to graduate and get a job doing…. I then asked him if he could do anything what would he be excited about doing. He looked lost for a little and said no one ever asked that so he never thought of it. I told him to think about it and dream BIG. The only way a GPS can get you to a destination is to be programmed as to where one wants to go first then calculating a route to get there. This is the same with one’s life.
The other thing that we talked about was a field that is growing now. Being that he has 4 years to graduate I told him to look at that field and see a secondary level to it. What is a branch of the field and how can one start a company addressing this branch. I think one of the things that school teaches us is how to follow and tries to squelch one’s true Brilliance and creativity.
This was written on the night of the 8th. I don’t know why it didn’t post.
Today was another Fantastic Day. I found 3 people who are interested in certain aspects of my business and want me to contact them. Then I got to spend most of the day at the second day of Conference! I got to reconnect with friends whom I haven’t seen since International Conference in August. Being that Conference is going on by the time I come home and get ready for bed before typing my blog may seem a bit too impersonal. Please just read and get the message and I promise by next weekend you will “see” my happy bubbly self again. I’m just suffering Brain Fry with SO MUCH Info being crammed in my head at Conference.
The reason that I brought all that up is that I won’t be able to go on the last day because my son has his first meet of the season and he needs qualifying times. Someone told me that there was NO reason BIG Enough to miss a day. I have been thinking about that. My son is the reason that I’m with this company. He was the driving force for me learning what I know and specializing in nMx. He also listens to my presentations and talks to people about contacting me for more time and financial freedom. He is my Why!
Today I was talking to a friend and we brought up closings. After telling her our #1 money earner’s close “How soon would you like to be making money with this company?”, but what if the person isn’t motivated by money? I said the best close that I use is “Whose dream are you working towards?” As a marketer my goal is to find out what the person wants or needs, and then give them the solution.
Being that most people have just been lulled by the ins and outs of going to work, coming home, watching tv and going to bed, repeat not many have really stopped to think “What is your why for living?“, “What are you passions?” and “What makes you get up excited in the morning?“