Category Archives: Awakening

Others’ Insecurities

Standard
Others’ Insecurities

The other day I was talking with 2 ladies about dating. I was telling them that I was single by choice for the past 13 years. During that time, I just never found someone who lived up to the standards that I hold to myself, so I didn’t want them to be a role model to my son. I was listening to one of the other women say that she was a single mom and chose to be single for 15 years for the same reason. The 3 of us were having a lovely conversation until I asked for their opinion.

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend of mine about an outing that I had with a guy that I’m still trying to clear from my mind as he “is attracted [in me], but isn’t open to a relationship at this time.” She was telling me that this statement could mean that he was A) just trying to be nice or B) needed to clean up “his house” before letting me in. I thought of this and ok well there is nothing I can do. I’ll leave it be. Then she said “the reason that you are having a hard time attracting men is because you don’t dye your hair.”

My thoughts were “Are men really that shallow?” and “I don’t want a man like that”, and “Why would I want to dye my hair when half the time I don’t brush my hair?” (I have thick Asian hair. If I wake with a full bed head, it will be pretty flat by the time I leave my house without the brush.)

Since then I’ve been asking random people and some friends this question to get a better feel for this statement. Thankfully out of the 23 guys I asked only one said that I should at least brush my hair, but dying it isn’t necessary. My friends (guys and ladies) all said that there wasn’t enough gray to warrant the added expenses.

Some of the ladies’ I didn’t know answers were not so nice. One woman told me that there was “No man who would be able to see past the gray” and “how is he to get to know your personality if the gray is preventing him from talking to you?” Another one said “Since you don’t wear makeup, you will die alone!”

I was in complete shock! Then I remembered what I tell my son about when people say things about you…. they are really just airing out their insecurities.

Has society really taught women that they are not pretty or worth anything without that mask? Have we really gotten this shallow as a society or is it just a few that feel this way and project onto others?

I was happy that I remembered what 3 of the guys said…

  1. “If you change to wear makeup and dress up just to meet a guy and after 6 months you go back to who you are, the guy will be confused… who is he actually dating?”
  2. “Most men want the lady who is low maintenance and still look beautiful.”
  3. “You don’t need to wear makeup or dye your hair! You are pretty, funny, smart, and fun. You have a great personality and are interesting to talk to. That’s all that matters”

I wasn’t looking for compliments but received quite a few.

I want a man who fully appreciates a low maintenance woman. (The woman who can wake up from a dead sleep, get out the door in less than 5 minutes, and be completely confident in herself) And after hearing the men’s views I’m confident I’ll find one… hopefully it doesn’t take another 13 years!

Advertisements

Self Reliance

Standard

Accept responsibility - Les Brown.jpg

When I used to work in the Brickell area of Miami I remember I was on the train one morning and saw the most amazing thing. These 2 little boys came in. The older one was about 5 years old and his brother was about 2. The 5 year old lead his brother to a seat, placed him on it and stood in front of him. They went 2 stops at which time the older child took his brother off the seat and lead him off the train.

I was in tears being so proud of them – yes I freaked when I realized they were alone. My son at the time was 13 and I still wouldn’t think of letting him take the train alone. I also remembered something I had heard once on TV “The more affluent the family, the more dependent the child.” At that moment I fully appreciated the truth in this statement.

When my son goes to see his father in Los Angeles he learns self reliance. My ex-husband doesn’t take time off when my son is there, so he has to find his way to UCLA for swim practice. With that said the route is 2 buses in the span of an hour and a half to get there from his father’s house. Over the years he had to fly alone cross country and one year he got to go on a over-night camp at UCI for swimming. I know if it was up to me and my parents, the boy would never have had those experiences. For this I’ll always be grateful to his dad.

This year because of those experiences I sent him to Boston on a 2 week SAT prep class and college tour with Abbey Road Programs. Quite a few of my friends and family were shocked that I sent him alone on this program. While he was gone I wasn’t worried as I knew that he was capable of looking out for himself and trusted that he would call if he needed any sort of help.

He had a Fabulous time and I see more of the man he is becoming because of it.

My True Self

Standard

eleanor-roosevelt-Criticized anyway

Hi! Well as you can tell I’m back.

A friend, Jorge, asked me to return to posting as he thought that others were missing my quirky view and the silly things that I just so happen to catch. In one of my last posts I received a backlash and a part of me was questioning “Who am I to post my thoughts and feelings?”

Over the past year and a half I had a chance to read and listen to various people along with my beloved #SethGodin who reminded me to #ChoseMyself. Also with my son growing older and posting in Social Media I see just how cruel, sensitive and/or ignorant people can be when they are anonymous. Over the year I learned that I post for me and those who are entertained keep reading. Those are the people who I write for.

Recently I went to dinner with Jorge. I was telling him that I had just started with a health program #AthleanXX. I LOVE THIS PROGRAM. The workouts are challenging without hurting. The next day I’m gently sore and within 3 weeks I have seen a change in my body. The part that entertained Jorge was that the founder Jeff Cavaliere @trainer2thepros had said that it is better to speed up one’s metabolism one should subscribe to eating every 2.5 to 3 hours with half of your meal be non-starchy vegetables, 1/4 of the meal starch and the last 1/4 a protein. I started doing this and noticed the inches melt away. My only issue is that I eat so slowly that by the time I finish I had taken 30-45 minutes and by the time the 2 hours or 2.75 hours passes I’m not hungry yet.

My question “Does the clock start at the beginning or the end of my meal?”

Jorge couldn’t stop laughing until I told him that when I eat with him I unconsciously force myself to eat faster when he is eating (thankfully Jorge inhales food), but as soon as he is finished I slow down and eat at my own pace. He thought of that while watching me eat – Jorge never rushes me – and said the clock starts at the end of the meal. He said being that many moms read my blog, they would appreciate some of my silly thoughts and insights.

The Castle and Journey

Standard
The Castle and Journey

Do you ever take stock of your life and notice that you are just coasting along? You aren’t challenged in a good way, but stressed with day to day life. You feel like you have no real purpose but to survive. Everyday seems to blur together, and everything is just bland.

This is how I’m feeling right now. I seem to be content and just doing the motions. I was listening to Jim Rohn and Denis Waitley on my way back from the South Beach Triathlon where my son came in 6th in his division for the swim. I also looked at my cousin who 10 years younger than me has traveled the world, has 2 jobs, and owns a home. I listened to him speak and saw that he will go many places because he has purpose and vision.

A year ago I had quit my job to become a Professional Network Marketer. I live at home, pay off all my bills and have savings; but I don’t own a home. I feel like the content part of me is selling me the thought that I am happy with this arrangement. I love my parents and love the proximity of child care, counseling and help; but I think I need to force myself to spread my wings and fly.

My father has given in his notice at work. He wants to retire and focus completely on the stock market. My mom and aunt have closed the travel agency brick and mortar to work from home. I want to support them. I want to know that if they or Keegan and I decide to travel the world, the money is readily available.

I have been working with GMYS to build up their support on their Shop dot com page. Truly looking at my progress I know that I haven’t given my all.

With that said looking back at the past couple years I honestly have to say that I haven’t given my all. I remember when I decided to finish university. I was on a 2 year hiatus with 9 declared majors under my belt and nothing to “show” for it. I went with my dad to St Thomas University to talk to the Monsignor. My parents just wanted me to finish with anything! It was really bad. When I started in the school I had a VERY LOW GPA .94, I had many credits that were just everywhere, and I still wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do.

After talking to an advisor about psychology (3 of my 9 declared majors) I got to talking with the business advisor for Tourism and Hospitality Management. I listened to him and knew that this was The Way for me. Being that my 9 declared majors were mostly in social science, I pretty much had to start over with business. I needed 2 accounting classes, 2 finance classes, 2 economy classes, 2 computer classes, 2 certain math classes and about 9 Tourism and Hospitality classes. I also had to get the requirement classes that didn’t transfer from public university to Catholic university – religion, ethics, history, English. They told me that it would take me a little over 3 years to complete my degree.

When I heard that and took stock of where I was and where I wanted to go, I figured out that I wasn’t going to take 3 years. I started taking 20-21 credits each semester. I took week long concentrated classes and night classes. I finished everything in 2 years exactly and graduated with honors with a 3.39. I was so focused and driven that everything (except finance and economics) was a breeze. During that time even while dating my ex-husband I knew where I wanted to go – GRADUATE FROM UNIVERSITY NOW!

I feel like I’m back where I was before my dad took me to St Thomas University. The feeling of directionless and content; and just like after the meeting with Professor Klein I know where I want to be – finished and accomplished.

Because I started working out again I seem to have more energy. When I blog and post on my Facebook page I remind myself each time that I have purpose. I don’t know what I did to motivate myself to really dig deep, put my head down and just plow forward; but I’m open to let it happen. During that time I didn’t need pictures, goal boards or affirmations to make me push myself, it was just a KNOWING that I was ready.

I remember I was talking with someone who asked me what is holding me back. I thought about it and said “I am a person who can see the castle, but when foraging through the valley I get distracted and turned around.” I told him that I needed someone to help me stay focused and navigate me. He asked an AMAZING question – that took years for me to “get” – “Who says you have to go into the valley?”

A mentor that I had told me that I have the every answer that I will ever need to any predicament I encounter. When I looked puzzled he said I’m just asking the question wrong and learn to play with my questions until I get an answer.

While listening to Jim Rohn he also said something that I needed to hear “No one is coming to save you, so you have to save yourself.” I fully understood this when I was deciding to finish college. I am appreciating this quote now as I decide to accomplish my goals – healthy weight and to be a Positive Influence in my community.

In writing this I feel that this was the force getting all of my body, mind and soul to agree that I want to finish. I KNOW I’m at that same crossroads. My soul is ready and I think my mind and body are starting to agree. I want to be my ideal health and I want to be a successful entrepreneur who helps Build Thriving Communities. I don’t know how to make a viral webpage or video. I don’t always enjoy presenting the plan, getting the sale or sponsoring someone or getting strangers to open up about their goals and dreams. But I do KNOW that it is time and I know what I want. The image/end result is becoming VERY clear in my head and I know I can accomplish it. Just like before enjoy every day because I’m moving towards my “castle”.

Are you a person who can “see the castle”, “the navigator and guide to lead others to the castle”? Are you waiting for someone to partner with you to get to the castle or just afraid to even try to attempt starting the adventurous journey? I have to agree – The only person to save you is yourself and whatever “mistakes” you make just show you more clearly which direction you should be going.

ALL the Best and Best Wishes on your trek to the castle! I know you will feel proud and accomplished when you arrive at the door only to see a bigger, more Amazing castle in the distance!

Wealth Health Love and Laughs

Update and Network Marketing Pro Marathon

Standard
Update and Network Marketing Pro Marathon

I haven’t posted anything because I haven’t had anything moving to say. I was spending time with my son who was watching Extra Credits channel on YouTube. During that time I was thinking of what I wanted to post and how I hadn’t posted in a while. Then the speaker said that he only posts a video when there is something worth listening to! I have to agree with this way of thinking.

With that said, quick overview of what has been going on in my world. I started going to the gym and swim each day. When I started 3 Saturdays ago I could barely swim the 500 – 20 laps – in 25 minutes. The following Saturday I swam the 1000 – 40 laps – in 20 minutes. This past Saturday I swam 1500 – 60 laps – in 25 minutes. I was very nervous about progressing so fast as I had hurt my shoulder a few years ago from swimming. But I have to say I feel great being back in the water!

In January my son said that I need a social life. That night I went to a high school friend’s birthday party. I’ve been building my social life since. And I’m truly enjoying myself.

I started attending Meetup events again. Through Meetup I have eaten at a few local restaurants that I didn’t know existed but am happy that I experienced. I went paddleboarding and singing in karaoke. I attended a maritime archaeological presentation about the Half Moon wreck off the coast of Miami (25 43’37.45″N 80 08’04.66″W) and cocktail event for Reef Guard and 1-800-Yacht Charters. I’ve started with Toastmasters, Bill Walsh’s Rainmakers, and a couple networking events. This week a friend and I are going to a ghost tour at the Deering Estate, and I have a networking event. My son is in the South Beach triathlon for the swim leg and has his Spring Concert.

In other areas I released a torch that I didn’t even know I was still holding for someone. He came back after 5 years and there was so much I had to say, but after saying everything there was nothing left. Speaking about relationships I started talking to a high school friend with whom I had a falling out with many years ago. I look forward to spending time with her. ALL in all my world is expanding in a positive way.

On the business front I am talking to people and still having a challenge following up with some of them but I feel much more confident with what I’m doing. I’m talking with doctors regarding Nutrametrix – to promote health in the community, build retail income, and create residual income. I am also working with a couple Non-Profit Organizations with Fundraising. If you are interested in learning how to Convert your Spending into Earning contact me. If you are tired of trading your time for money and want to create Large Residual Income contact me.

I have been watching a Network Marketing Pro as a marathon getting my mind back into working for myself and solidifying my skills. I do notice that I’m more confident and am able to talk to people in a relaxed manner. Now just learning how to keep my tone and manner conversational. If you have any tips to help feel free to contact me.

I wish you ALL the Best and Many Blessings!

“It’s a stone cold fact that we have a better way, now let’s go tell the world” Eric Worre

A Perfect Morning

Standard

image

Today is one of those Miami mornings that everyone on the planet comes to experience. It a lovely 72 degrees with a light breeze coming in from the east meaning there is a light smell of the ocean anywhere within 10 miles off the coast.

I think another reason today is so Fantastic for me is that I had a GREAT time last night at the enriching Mental Beauty meetup event. I got to meet 3 truly Amazing ladies. During the night I had so many Aha moments. The hostess is a life coach and as you may know since January I’ve been taking stock and changing my world. It was empowering to bask in this healing, motivating, positive energy.

After the event I stayed behind to talk with the hostess who I clicked with. We had an eye opening conversation and when I left I felt lighter, most focused and purposeful. When I got home Monster Boy was still awake so we ended up talking. By the time I feel asleep I felt centered and connected.

This is one of the songs that resonate with me today.

On the business side 2 of the ladies are interested in attending the Weston presentation on March 11. I’m looking forward to attending and spending more time with them!

Great Laughs

Standard

image

Last night I went to a meetup event. I met 9 really nice people at a VERY EXPENSIVE seafood restaurant. I had a Fantastic time! I sat with 3 ladies and together we laughed so I couldn’t breathe. I can’t even remember how long ago I had such a GREAT time!

Business wise one of the ladies I laughed with knows a non-profit that needs assistance in fundraising and another member of the group is the pastor of a church looking for fundraising.

Kinda Quick Update

Standard

Wow I wasn’t aware just how long I haven’t posted. Sorry for that!

Many things have happened since Convention. I have been attending 4 business/networking events per week along with meeting men – I won’t call it dating as they were just meetings. Also along the line I did get to spend quality time with Monster Boy.

OK I joined 2 mastermind groups. One specifically for my company and the other for entrepreneurs. And I took a webinar about focusing in on what I want and just laser focus until I get it. The first 2 steps were the normal steps: 1. What do you really want at this time of your life? and 2. Why do you want these?  The third step was 3. WHY DON’T YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT? This to me is such a new concept. I found out answering that some of the reasons that I don’t do or have something is that it really isn’t that important to me. Ask these 3 questions and you will see what is going on in your head and your motivations or lack there of.

Being that I have had so many experiences in the past 3 weeks I’ll just recap week by week. The first week I got to talk to a woman about assisting in fundraising for a non profit that helps single parents (mostly women) collect child support. I was so happy to hear that her mother who is also in this group empower the women by reminding them that they have to figure out how to manage without the checks. This helped many recipients go out and really make a difference in their lives! I was *So Proud* I spoke with 2 other non-profits that week who have to meet with their boards to get the ok. The second non-profit meeting was pleasant. The office manager understood within the first 5 minutes of the presentation and was ecstatic that we also had wellness products as she buys many vitamins and supplements.

During that same week I went out on 3 personal events. Funny enough I found out one was a swim dad’s cousin. One was a really great guy who lived 45 minutes away and the 3rd had a REALLY ROUGH Life since taking his picture.

The next week (last week) was a quieter week. I got to talk with a prospect who had just gotten out of prison. After presenting the marketing plan we got to talking and he said something that blew my mind. He said that a person in jail and a financially free person live very similar lifestyles. I didn’t know what he meant so he clarified. When a person is financially free they have the time freedom to do anything they want and the money to actually do those things. In comparison when a person is in jail they have the time freedom to read, study, workout, etc. Granted they are on a strict schedule and aren’t free to do everything they want, but really think about it. I’m not saying that one should aim to go to prison. However isn’t the reason one works is to have the money to go out and LIVE… I don’t know many people who plan to work just to barely survive! Keep that in mind when someone asks you to watch a business plan to work for yourself!

I also got to talk with 1 non-profit and 2 other prospects. What amazed me was the mentality of the person from the non-profit group. She has a great program with inner city kids mostly high schoolers teaching empathy. I completely stand behind her cause. What shocked me was when we talked about fundraising! For those who don’t know I work with non-profits as a consultant to implement fundraising initiatives that financially benefit supporters. Yes you read that right I help non-profits fundraise WITHOUT asking for money by helping their supporters Save money and Earn Cash Back buying 95% of what they are already buying. For 35 minutes this person kept telling me that I need to help her sell her books! It wasn’t until I used the example of going to Macy’s finding a dress that she likes, using her phone to scan the bar code, buying it from her phone for cash back, and walking out with the dress that day! It took a few minutes for her after I said that to wrap her head around what I was talking about. I saw the light click on! She wrote a couple days later to tell me that she will contact me in 60 days as she needs to focus on the lesson plans.

I got to see the cousin a couple more times. He is a great guy. I just don’t think he is right for me. Last Sunday he texted me late in the evening to tell me that he was nursing a hangover! All I could think was “at 45 years old you still can’t figure out how to hold your liquor!” Oh well at least it happened very early!

Speaking of last Sunday my son got a rude awakening when I took him to a college fair. He was overwhelmed by the amount of colleges and this was a small fair. I had been telling him to start narrowing down colleges and his reply was always “Woman! I have 4 years!” The best part is that we learned how to filter colleges by parameters. Being that he wants to swim in a small to medium school that brought the number down to 155, When he put housing and no religious affiliation the number dropped to 46! THANK GOODNESS! After the fair we met with a summer program in Nice, France. They were Fantastic and we are both excited! Now it’s the task of getting his father to agree AND pay half! I’ll keep you updated!

OK now we are up to this week! I went to an Amazing event at UM, I got to see Rony Abovitz CEO of Magic Leap speak. I was so inspired by his talk as it fit in perfectly with what I had learned in a few other events but for some reason it resonated all the way down to my core. Click here to watch the talk. Afterwards I got to talk to him. I asked how do I go about growing my brand (how I see what I do) when so many people have such a misconception of what exactly I do. He recommended that I read the book Blue Ocean Strategy. By the next day I got the book and found the audiobook.

I had 2 Miami MA events this week. The one on Tuesday was a Business presentation and last night was a Shopping Annuity presentation. Both were great! I wasn’t aware that the Business presentation had added a shopping annuity overview. And the Shopping Annuity presentation blew me away. My guest was completely impressed and next week I will be presenting the business plan with her and 2 friends. Why would someone turn down a free service that completely benefits them by stretching their income? *completely confused* Start Today!

Wednesday night I had a Mastermind event. While there I was talking with someone who told me that I should have quick entries everyday as I experience something new daily. And it may relate with you the reader and/or inspire you in one way or another to act towards your goals.

Tonight I have a social dinner to attend and tomorrow there is a goal setting and keeping on track event. I enjoy meeting new people and am so entertained when I have Aha moments. Enjoy the videos and register to Convert your Spending into Earning no matter where you live!

Day 2 of #mawc2015

Standard

image

As you know I am a Professional Network Marketer. I work to empower my community utilizing the leverage of the whole community.

Yesterday at conference I learned about Shopping Annuity how to save money and get paid to buy over 80 percent of what you are already spending! I am SO EXCITED about what this means for nonprofits and people! Find out where you are currently spending your money. And check out how tweaking the way you spend will save money and pay you!

Then Register for free. Download Shop Buddy and NEVER miss a chance to save money and get paid to shop.

Can you imagine saving thousands annually shopping online and earning an income buying what you are ALREADY BUYING? And if you refer others you get paid for them shopping online! Why are you not paying yourself?

Register for free. Download Shop Buddy and NEVER miss a chance to save money and get paid to shop.

Reconnecting with Friends

Standard

Connections - Tom Ford

Over the weekend, a high school friend had her birthday party. I’ve been invited to attend since we reconnected on Facebook after my return to Miami 13 years ago.

I am so happy that I went as I got to reconnect with so many people with whom I haven’t seen in YEARS! But what struck me even more was my friend Renee and the realization that if one was lucky to be befriended by her, she would ALWAYS be a True Friend! Before the guests arrived (yes I got there ON TIME – so basically VERY Early) I got to spend time with Renee. And when people started arriving she would check up on me. Asking if I was ok. I saw people from high school and college.

She values her friendships and I’m honored that she considers me a friend.

Building and maintaining relationships are something that people facing entrepreneurs and employees must excel at in order to be successful.

Building a relationship starts with first impressions and building rapport. I remember being a door to door sales person who was asked to join the home owners for dinner 9 days out of 10. Why? Because I wanted to save them money with their telecommunication services. Yes I got paid on commission but people saw that I truly wanted to help them. When I saw that someone was buying the best they could afford, I would tell them so. I got so many phone calls from neighbors, family and friends who wanted me to visit them.

I’ve stated in past entries that I truly LOVED this job! It was my favorite as I got to be outside all day, meet about 1000 people weekly and made a positive difference in their household. I had that position in 2008 and STILL have people approach me in stores, street fairs, and various events to say Hi… most address me by name! I love building relationships!

What I’m not so good at is maintaining them. Being that I’m a single mom and entrepreneur my calender is full of swim meets, school events, networking events, social gatherings, etc. (excuse!) I am usually close to one person at a time for non business reasons. Recently I’ve been working with and training small groups of entrepreneurs for business, but after this event I think I will start making each relationship more personal.

I was listening to a speaker who said that they chose to work with like minded people who “I would look forward to go on vacation with”. That is what I want! When I meet someone I pay attention to their personality, ambition and drive before bringing up what I do. If I don’t get along with a person, they are negative or have the mentality “I am always right”, I choose to walk away. This way I build a strong team of people who are determined to succeed AND have a fun time working together.

Are you tired of what you do or at least open to hearing about this opportunity? Are you hard working and want to enjoy the fruit of your labor? Do you want to know everything you are working for is beneficial to you, your family and your community? Reach out to me. I would like to hear what you are looking for.