Tag Archives: empower others

Being vs Feeling Helpless

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Being vs Feeling Helpless

I’m sure you looked at that picture and thought to yourself “That Sucks!” but being a picture there was nothing that you could do about it. If you were to step out of your life and look at it objectively with our thoughts and feelings would you say the same thing?

A few years ago a friend of mine was in a job that she absolutely hated. Her beloved company was bought out and the new company was ridding itself of the employees of the original company.  Her new boss had no idea what needed to be done and didn’t build employee morale. While my friend was at work she was expected to train her boss who was unappreciative and rude. Every time my friend had a bad day she would call and complain to me. And my comment would always be to brush up the resume and start looking. These words went unheeded until she was laid off along with the last 1/4th of the original company. Strangely enough my friend was DEVISTATED! I couldn’t for the life of me understand how she was so upset when EVERY DAY she was upset!? The funny thing is that less that 5 weeks later she had another job… that she liked! Why did she stay?

In my last job my coworker was verbally belittled and blamed for everything that went wrong in the office, including mistakes that were made before she worked at the company. My boss had it out for her and in meeting would let loose a barrage of barbs aimed at my coworker. There were a couple of time when my coworker was shaking from being emotionally overwhelmed! The rest of the office would tell her to start looking for other work as this the boss has it out for her and her response was that she was a single mom with no family to help her. I left the company and a couple months later she was fired. She was written up for 5 year old mistakes (she wasn’t working there at the time), mistakes that I made and corrected, and overlooking some details. In the past couple months she has been unemployed looking for work. Why did she stay?

 

I experienced these two incidents and the question Why did these two hard working, sharp women stay in such negativity? Did they not think they were good enough to find something better? Did they think this was the best that they could get?

Too many people don’t think that they can succeed in attaining their dreams and with that thought they don’t even bother to attempt to try. They think this is probably the best they can have.

My own story… When I first decided to quit my job a part of me said that I wasn’t going to succeed, that I would need a job in a few months. There were so many people who told me that this is crazy and still ask me every time they see me if I found my way and got another job. It doesn’t matter that I have plenty of experience with customer service, training others, communications, interpersonal skills, public speaking and business. It doesn’t matter that I’m working much harder for myself than I was for my last job. The only thing they see is I don’t have the gold level health insurance or paid vacations. It doesn’t matter that I am happier now, am able to be at my son’s school or events when needed, and can set my hours to any time.

Something pushed me to the breaking point and a part of me knew that I am able giving me the courage to leave. Over the past few months I’ve worked through hurdles, reached epiphanies, and spoke with hundreds of people. Over the past couple weeks the seeds that I planted are finally breaking the surface and I’m seeing results. The feelings of helplessness are lifting and I can appreciate that I was never actually helpless to attain my goals!

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Different from the World

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Different from the World

I look at how school teaches my son and his classmates. The kids are taught how to follow directions, sit still and quietly, and to memorize information that they can Google.

Kids come out of school not knowing how to think for themselves into a society that has no jobs for them, but has taught them that this is the only acceptable path to take. Graduates are either unemployed or underemployed, or they can’t find a job in their area of study while they still have student loans to pay.

Shouldn’t we be exposing them to think differently. There are some amazing books:

  • Risky is the New Safe: The Rules Have Changed…     by Randy Gage
  • Linchpin: Are you indispensable?     by Seth Godin
  • Rich Dad, Poor Dad     by Robert T. Kiyosaki
  • Think and Grow Rich    by Napoleon Hill
  • The Richest Man in Babylon     by George S. Clason
  • How to Win Friends and Influence People    by Dale Carnegie
  • Secrets of a Millionaire Mind    by T Harv Eker

Something I’m interested in doing in my son’s school is to start an entrepreneur club. Teaching goal setting, how to break down the goals into small daily steps, useful business skill and personal improvement skills. I also want to empower them to think BIGGER, be confident in themselves and their abilities and have the courage to be different.

If you have a dream, I hope you have the desire and the confidence to fulfill it. Just know you can always contact me to help you on your way.